Sorry so long but…

I graduated college last May in graphic design and I’m only a seasonal employee who does art work at Six Flags. Since August, it has been the worst four months of my life. That’s how long I’ve been job searching and all I got out of it so far was 5 interviews, no offers, I followed up. I even applied places outside my field of study. I’m came close to risking my life by joining Labor Ready. There’s a 99% chance of me going back to my seasonal job when the park opens in March–I’ve turned in my departments rehire tax papers for that–I’m still scared something will go wrong with that, even though it usually doesn’t. My parents and my grandma have been helping me out, yet I don’t feel right about it because I’m 25 years old and don’t even make $50,000 a year like someone in their 20′s should, I’m actually continuing my education part time. I’m glad I’ll be earning money soon as a figure model at the community college, however, the hours I get are limited. I feel like I failed everyone. I’m doing my best to move forward; yet I’m a bum cause I’m still not making $50,000 a year. WTF?

My friend and I are starting our business together, and that’s going too slow, but still, I wont give up on this. I’m just in panic mode and I’m tired and can’t sleep right. Lately what’s been triggering my panic attacks is getting unwanted calls from telemarketers and scammers on my cell. These unwanted calls were from trying to make money online with CashCrate by filling out surveys and offers for a $0.50 each. I quit that over three months ago because I got too many unwanted callers–They still call today, even after I registered on donotcall.gov and saying “not interested” for the millionth time. Of course I was rude to a lot of them and accused them of being a scam. I got one today that said “RESTRICTED”, the guy on the end claimed that requested info about an online money making opportunity. I politely told the guy “what you are offering to me is a scam”. After I said that, he then said “Well ‘hrcdrc’, you can’t say that every business opportunity is a scam, if you don’t want to be successful, I’ll just hang up the phone.” That really made me feel like a loser.

I sometimes wonder if I even have a brain anymore because I keep running into the same vicious cycle of problems?